What are you going to do now?

I started this blog as more of a journal of sorts. A way to keep a record of what our family has done and accomplished. And while I do that, my hopes for this blog has changed a little. I am now a college graduate (well in May it will be official, but for simplicity let's say I am now). Who knows what that's supposed to mean and entail? All I know is that my life has changed. Now instead of classes all day and books, tuition and no sleep, my life has turned into working all day and making dinner, doing dishes and more sleep. It's been quite a change and an adjustement. But perhaps the biggest change is figuring out how I want to live the rest of my life. Now I know that I don't have to have everything planned out right now obviously but I would like to have a plan of some sort. And I don't. I don't know anything...or at least that's how I feel sometimes. I know that I have a job that pays the bills and is a good job...for now.

My degree is in communications...print journalism. That's not a high paying field. It certainly wouldn't pay the bills right now. So when I get asked why I'm not using my degree or when I am going to get a job that puts my schooling to good use, forgive me if I don't smile and give you a nice answer. Let me be blunt. Please don't ask me why I don't have a job that relates to my degree. Please don't ask me when I will get one. Please don't ask me. Please. Because I don't know. I have no clue what kind of job I want that relates to the journalism field. I don't know what kind of job I want period. I don't know what kind of job I can have that will still let me be a mom in the future. The way I feel about reporting and writing has changed drastically over the last 4 years. Not only that, but I have changed drastically over the last 4 years, so naturally my view of the future has changed as well.

I feel very accomplished to have earned my bachelor's degree. I feel like I have accomplished something. I HAVE accomplished something. So to me the subject my degree is in doesn't matter as much as the fact that I graduated! I have a whole life ahead of me to figure out what I want to do with my degree and my career path. For now, I will continue to write on this blog. I am determined to make it more of an outlet for my creative and journalistic writing in addition to my journal and family history. For now, this blog will be me putting my education to use. I may not have a ton of readers, but I never write for anyone but me anyways. So no matter how many people read my writing I know it is still making a difference in at least one life: mine. Writing helps me to feel like what I have to say is important. It helps me release my emotions in a healthy way. It helps me feel like I am making a difference by expressing my views, opinions, and outlooks on life. That's what I went to school for and that's why I got my degree. I studied hard for years to educate myself and articulate my view on life. I DID NOT, I repeat I DID NOT go to college simply to put myself ahead in the workforce. College has given me a great opportunity to learn about many different subjects and now I will take the next few years to evaluate how I want to use that knowledge.