Feminism in a different light

I haven't ever thought of myself as a feminist. I have maybe toyed with idea, but never committed. I certainly don't categorize feminism as bra-burning women who hate all men. That is not what feminism is to me. In fact, I don't know that anyone can really define feminism in a certain way. But after taking a social gender class at the U of U a few semesters ago I learned a lot more about gender stereotypes, gender roles, etc. and found out I am definitely NOT a feminist.

More recently I have strengthened my view that I am not a feminist when I read this blog. This is probably the blog I check first on my blog role every day. C Jane is humorous, insightful and an amazing writer. And her insight on the subject of feminism blew me away. She gives a definition of feminism as: If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

I had never thought of saying that I am not a feminist becuase I DON'T want men and women to be equal. Crazy right? Maybe when you first hear it it is. But really it makes a lot of sense for a young LDS women such as I. Read this quote by Ezra Taft Benson (a former president of the LDS church) and then we will discuss:

"You were not created to be the same as men. Your natural attributes, affections and personalities are entirely different from these of a man. They consist of faithfulnes, benevolence, kindness and charity. They also balance out the more aggressive and competitive nature of man. The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brain power and the skills to compete with men. But by competing they must of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man. The conventional wisdom of the day would have you be equal with men. We say, we would not have you descend to that level."

Wow. Epiphany. That's what I had after reading C Jane's blog and that article. Suddenly it all made sense. This was how I felt and I didn't even know it until now. I always knew I was a strong women with opinions and goals. I have always been like that. I knew what I wanted in life: to be successful. What did that mean though? Did I want a carreer, a purpose? Yes. Did I want to be a wife and a mother? Yes. So how do I balance those out without giving who I am up?

That's just the point...I don't have to. I can be everything I want and still be a woman, a child of God. I don't have to be a successful carreer driven CEO. I don't have to necessarily just be a stay-at-home mom. I don't have to be a feminist. I don't want to be a feminist. I don't want to strive my whole life to be equal with the men that surround me. I want to be me and only me.

Men and women were built differently for a reason. We were also given different personality and character traits for a reason. Because we were meant to find each other, get married, have children and learn from each other. I am meant to teach Chad things he doesn't understand and likewise. I AM NOT supposed to be equal to him in every aspect of our lives, instead I am supposed to complement him. I am meant to be a woman and he is meant to be a man.

So while I can certainly appreciate women's views on feminism and wanting women to be "equal" to mean and have all the opportunities in the world, I just don't think it is necessary. We can be who we are without feminism and without definititions and standards to live up to. I want a marriage that works because we are trying our best to do what is best for each other, not what is best for social standards and gender roles.

Sorry feminism, but you just don't fit into my life.