I don't pretend to be a pro at the whole motherhood thing after only 3 months. But I do feel I have learned a thing or two about how to be a good mother.
So here goes...
1) Be patient. Even if your baby is screaming in your ear just coo and talk to them. A lot of the time this will calm Afton down very quickly. I know that she likes the sound of my voice and my smile. So even when she is feeling bad, my happy face will most likely make her feel better.
2) Schedule, smchedule...I really don't think it's completely necessary to have a strict schedule for a newborn. I read babywise and while I liked some of the ideas, I wasn't a fan of the whole book. We just could never get on board with the "cry-it-out" method. I don't think its mean or cruel really but it just wasn't working for Afton or Chad and I. And she really doesn't have a set feeding schedule either. Like she doesn't always eat at 7 am for her first feeding. Sometimes, but not always. And sometimes she likes to go 2 hours during the day between feeding and sometimes 3 or 4. So I let her decide when she's hungry and we do our best to fit everything in around that. And I am not putting her down to bed by 8 every night. I would much rather put her to bed at 9:30 or 10 when we go to bed. That way she will sleep 7-9 hours and wake up when we wake up in the morning. Makes sense to me! I have found that if I just trust my instincts, that is the best.
3) Let others help... Sometimes I like to be superwoman and do everything myself, but I've found out, it's ok to let others help. Especially since we moved in with Chad's parents has this been true. I can actually cook dinner because I usually have someone who can hold her if her bouncer just isn't making her happy and I am up to my elbows in raw chicken. We also have amazing parents who watch her so that Chad and I can go out on dates.
4) Dad's are just as important as mom's...Chad is an amazing dad. I know there are a lot of background dads out there. You know...the ones who think babies should be left to the mothers. That's insane. It definitely takes more than one person to raise a baby. That's why I am so lucky to have Chad. He is always willing to rock her to sleep when she is cranks or give her a bath or just dance with her. She loves daddy's beatboxing and silly dance moves...In case you haven't met my husband he is VERY silly. And I have a feeling Afton will take after him in that respect. And I will admit that I have to remember that Chad is a parent too sometimes. I get so used to being with her all day and doing thing's a certain way that sometimes I am not always open to
new ideas. Sorry about that Chad...
5) Relax! I am trying to not be an uptight parent. The instinct to be so kicks in when someone wakes Afton from her nap for being too loud or when someone doesn't hold her the right way or when...etc... Get the picture? It's easy to stress when you have a new baby. It's easy to be more annoyed than happy. I am trying (hopefully successfully) to NOT be like that. I am pretty sure it's working. It's so much better to just enjoy being a mom than to worry about HOW you are being a mom.
6) Take time for yourself...and you will be a much happier parent. While I love being home with Afton everyday it is nice to have some alone time once and a while or go on a date with my husband. I feel that it is sooo important to make time for those things or you just go crazy.
7) Breastfeeding is natural and wonderful... The first few weeks, was rough (maybe even the first 6-8 weeks) but now its better. I look foreword to the time when I get to feed Afton. It's the one thing only I can do. It's our time to just be near each other and enjoy the quiet time. When I away for a feeding and someone is giving her a bottle, I hate it. I miss her and I know that she misses me. She really doesn't care for the whole bottle thing and I like it that way :-)
8) People are very friendly when they know you are carting around a newborn. People in stores love to smile at the stroller and wonder what's under the blanket. Many actually ask to see Afton. I almost always have someone offer to open the door for me when I have her with me. And many people love to tell you that their wife/daughter/sister etc just had a baby. Weirest comment? A lady in khols the other day told us about her grandson that had webbed toes. TMI khols lady, TMI. But despite the oddballs it's refreshing to have people be so friendly. Yesterday while running errand downtown, 2 men opened up two different doors for me at the same time. We all laughed and smiled. It was funny.
There are definitely a lot of other things I have learned but my brain can't recover them right now. Plus I am thinking that Afton has been napping for an hour and might wake up very soon so I better end this while I can.
I love being a mom!
So here goes...
1) Be patient. Even if your baby is screaming in your ear just coo and talk to them. A lot of the time this will calm Afton down very quickly. I know that she likes the sound of my voice and my smile. So even when she is feeling bad, my happy face will most likely make her feel better.
2) Schedule, smchedule...I really don't think it's completely necessary to have a strict schedule for a newborn. I read babywise and while I liked some of the ideas, I wasn't a fan of the whole book. We just could never get on board with the "cry-it-out" method. I don't think its mean or cruel really but it just wasn't working for Afton or Chad and I. And she really doesn't have a set feeding schedule either. Like she doesn't always eat at 7 am for her first feeding. Sometimes, but not always. And sometimes she likes to go 2 hours during the day between feeding and sometimes 3 or 4. So I let her decide when she's hungry and we do our best to fit everything in around that. And I am not putting her down to bed by 8 every night. I would much rather put her to bed at 9:30 or 10 when we go to bed. That way she will sleep 7-9 hours and wake up when we wake up in the morning. Makes sense to me! I have found that if I just trust my instincts, that is the best.
3) Let others help... Sometimes I like to be superwoman and do everything myself, but I've found out, it's ok to let others help. Especially since we moved in with Chad's parents has this been true. I can actually cook dinner because I usually have someone who can hold her if her bouncer just isn't making her happy and I am up to my elbows in raw chicken. We also have amazing parents who watch her so that Chad and I can go out on dates.
4) Dad's are just as important as mom's...Chad is an amazing dad. I know there are a lot of background dads out there. You know...the ones who think babies should be left to the mothers. That's insane. It definitely takes more than one person to raise a baby. That's why I am so lucky to have Chad. He is always willing to rock her to sleep when she is cranks or give her a bath or just dance with her. She loves daddy's beatboxing and silly dance moves...In case you haven't met my husband he is VERY silly. And I have a feeling Afton will take after him in that respect. And I will admit that I have to remember that Chad is a parent too sometimes. I get so used to being with her all day and doing thing's a certain way that sometimes I am not always open to
new ideas. Sorry about that Chad...
5) Relax! I am trying to not be an uptight parent. The instinct to be so kicks in when someone wakes Afton from her nap for being too loud or when someone doesn't hold her the right way or when...etc... Get the picture? It's easy to stress when you have a new baby. It's easy to be more annoyed than happy. I am trying (hopefully successfully) to NOT be like that. I am pretty sure it's working. It's so much better to just enjoy being a mom than to worry about HOW you are being a mom.
6) Take time for yourself...and you will be a much happier parent. While I love being home with Afton everyday it is nice to have some alone time once and a while or go on a date with my husband. I feel that it is sooo important to make time for those things or you just go crazy.
7) Breastfeeding is natural and wonderful... The first few weeks, was rough (maybe even the first 6-8 weeks) but now its better. I look foreword to the time when I get to feed Afton. It's the one thing only I can do. It's our time to just be near each other and enjoy the quiet time. When I away for a feeding and someone is giving her a bottle, I hate it. I miss her and I know that she misses me. She really doesn't care for the whole bottle thing and I like it that way :-)
8) People are very friendly when they know you are carting around a newborn. People in stores love to smile at the stroller and wonder what's under the blanket. Many actually ask to see Afton. I almost always have someone offer to open the door for me when I have her with me. And many people love to tell you that their wife/daughter/sister etc just had a baby. Weirest comment? A lady in khols the other day told us about her grandson that had webbed toes. TMI khols lady, TMI. But despite the oddballs it's refreshing to have people be so friendly. Yesterday while running errand downtown, 2 men opened up two different doors for me at the same time. We all laughed and smiled. It was funny.
There are definitely a lot of other things I have learned but my brain can't recover them right now. Plus I am thinking that Afton has been napping for an hour and might wake up very soon so I better end this while I can.
I love being a mom!
Okay you just gave me a great lesson in motherhood! You are the best mom around Clair! Thanks for this post, it really reminded me not to stress out so much. I wish I could be more like you right now... And loved your letter to Afton! She is so beautiful and adorable it hurts my heart! I want to hold her and kiss her cheeks so bad! She looks like the happiest little baby too! I loved her outfit for the wedding reception and her blessing dress was beautiful! I can't wait for her and Beckham to meet in June!
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