Quiet

Hayden was awake at 5:30 with a little cough. He woke me up and I trudged out of bed into the kids room. I pulled Hayden out of his crib and sat down in the rocker to nurse him back to sleep. He has had a dry cough for a couple months off and on and one of the only things that helps is nursing and DoTerra Breathe essential oils. He promptly stopped coughing and fell back asleep. Me? Wide awake. Normally I try and keep my eyes closed and relax so that I can climb back into bed and fall back asleep quickly. A strategy I have mastered over the last year. I feel deeply bad for mom's who are light sleepers. How do you do it? I'm lucky in that way. Chad is a light sleeper and has a much harder time getting the rest he needs with two young kids.

So, it's 5:45 and I am wide awake so I get dressed and go down stairs. It's eerily quiet and dark, nothing a light and my computer screens can't fix. I power on my computer and log onto my work computer. I think again how lucky I am to work from home. It's very hard sometimes and I often feel pulled in many directions but I can't deny that Heavenly Father has had his hand in organizing my life the last few years and helping me appreciate the hard times with the good.

So I work for an hour and can't help but break for a few minutes of quiet reflection before the sun and the other members of my family rise. I don't get this kind of quiet very often. There is something about the pre-morning darkness that is just a different kind of quiet. One where you can hear and feel the spirit of God a little more, don't you think? The business of the world hasn't set in yet and it's quiet for miles around. It makes me that much more grateful for all that I have.

I feel so blessed to be living in this great country and have had so many of the opportunities I've had. And my greatest blessing, to be a mother. The last few days have been hard, especially with Afton. My patience wearing thin, my head hurting from all of the questions and tantrums. I guess all I needed was a few hours of quiet on my own to regroup and realize how much I love my crazy busy life that is hardly ever quiet.

As the kids get older and older, I have been thinking more and more about the fact that this is going by too quick. I want to slow down time and speed it up all at the same time. I guess that is the beauty of life.

This post turned way more philosophical that I meant it to. More than anything I just wanted to record the thoughts of a young mom who was relishing in the quiet. It's funny how your priorities change as you get older. I used to relish in the loud, blaring music of my youth and now all I want it quiet. I'm sure many of us can relate as the world gets louder and louder each day. Have you had your "quiet" for the day?

A day in the life of a stay at home, work from home mom

For the last 2 plus years I been lucky enough to be a stay at home mom and I have also been lucky enough to be able to work from home and supplement Chad's income. We have a wonderful family friend who owns his own business and allows me to do my work from the comfort of my own home while still taking care of my two children.

Now, I made this sound all fluffy and nice right there didn't I? Well, it is... and it isn't. It's wonderful because it's necessary for me to work right now and I really don't want to have to put both of kids in day care. But it's also hard. Extremely hard. There are days when I just don't think I can do it anymore.

But, alas, I have to. So I put one foot in front of the other and continue on. Of course things like faith and patience have helped me get through the bad days. Faith in my Heavenly Father and his love for me. I know that He knows it's hard and He will always send me the help that I need to get through it. I also have developed a patience I never knew possible. I still have moments of weakness when my patience falters and I will not only like a horrible employee but a horrible mother. But I am finding those moments to be less and less.

Ultimately though what gets me through working from home is a routine and being organized.

So here is what my days usually look like.

7-8 am: I dray myself out of bed and nurse Hayden. Ok, sometimes I nurse him in bed to snag a few more moments of sleep. This may seem like a late start but I am NOT a morning person. Then we usually all lay in bed together for a little while before we have to get up and begin another day. The kids play and rough house.

 

 

7:30-8:30 am: Get Afton dressed/ready for pre-school, fix breakfast for everyone, pack lunches and send Chad and Afton out the door for work and pre-school.

8:30-9 am: Hayden and I are usually either finishing our breakfast or cleaning the kitchen. I have a very hard time starting my work day if my kitchen is a mess. Anyone else OCD like that?

9-10 am: I will log onto my work computer from home remotely and start going through the endless emails, etc. Hayden meanwhile will play nicely with his toys (or kitchen utensils) next to me on a good day.

On a bad day, he will stand next to me and scream to be picked up.

Or better yet, crawl under my desk and try to pull the cords out.

 

10 am: Naptime for Hayden and the first quiet time of the day for mom. If my head is in the right place and I am motivated, I will sit right back down at my desk after putting Hayden down for his nap and start working again. Hayden usually takes a pretty good morning nap, 1.5-2 hours. So I can usually pound out 2 hours of work if I'm lucky. There are those days however, when I sit down at my desk and day dream of all of the other things I could be doing: baking, meal prepping, cleaning (yeah I dream of cleaning my toilets, sue me), organizing our house, planning my YW's lesson (I can't forget to do that), pulling out my Jillian Michaels video and sweating little, watching the next episode of the Good Wife while folding the 3 loads of laundry I did yesterday (if I am being completely honest) or more importantly sitting down to study scriptures and have some personal reflection time.

On these days when I day dream of all of these things, it's so much harder to start working again. But in the end, I am an honest person, I can't honestly get my pay check and feel good about it if I don't get in the hours I need to. So I muster up all of my determination, even if it's just a little, and start working again.

11:30-12 pm: Hayden wakes up and demands to be nursed so I take a break from work to snuggle with my little guy. Then I will usually start thinking about lunch for both me and Hayden. Also, Afton gets home from pre-school two days a week at this time so she will also need lunch and attention. If I am lucky I will have gotten in 3 hours of work up until this point. If I am unlucky, 2. Either way, I am done with half my day already and it feels like I just woke up.

12-3 pm: This time of my day always looks different depending on my children's needs and wants. Sometimes I will plug out another 2-3 hours of work if I can get the kids to play nicely with each other or watch a movie or play at the neighbors house. Sometimes, it's all I can do to get in one more hour before the kids are tearing the house apart and screaming at me for attention. I have gotten good and knowing when I can squeeze in a little more work and when I need to stop and give my kids my undivided attention.

3-4 pm: This is usually playtime with the kids/ clean up the house so it doesn't look like a tornado hit it.

4-5 pm: I should hopefully be done with work by this point and switching gears to think about dinner and the rest of the night. Most days, 90% of the time, I try and cook dinner for my family so we don't eat out. It's incredibly hard some days when I am exhausted from my work day to even entertain the idea of cooking. But I am always glad I cooked and fed my family a healthy meal from home. I don't ever regret it. Plus I meal plan for the week so hopefully I should always know what I am cooking already.

 

5-7 pm: It's finally the end of the day. I can relax a little and mark down another few hours of work completed, hopefully. Now it's on to waiting for dad to walk through the door and eating dinner as a family. Just because it is the end of the day though, doesn't mean things necessarily slow down. It seems like we always have a least one things going on every night these days. Between me running twice a week in the evenings with my neighbor, chad going on a bike ride to get in his exercise, pre-school board meetings, mutual for either Chad or I every Wednesday, other church activities such as enrichment for me or missionary splits with Chad, grocery shopping and random errands nights are usually a hectic rush to get somewhere or get something done.

 

7-8:30 pm: Finally it's bedtime! For the kid at least. We spend this time winding down. Baths, teeth brushing, reading books and saying prayers. This is ideally how every night would go. Sometimes though it's simply get your jammies on, say your prayers and get into bed Afton. We are finally at the point with Hayden that he is going to bed pretty consistently by 8:30 as well and goes down easily.

8:30 pm and on: Are you tired from listening to my day? I'm tired from living it and from writing it again. I always have grand ideas of getting so many things done after the kids go to bed. See earlier time slot when I day dreamed about all the things I needed to do. Yeah, I always think that I am going to check off at least 2 or 3 things off my to do list, but the honest truth is that most days I have only enough energy to walk down stairs and plop down on the couch.

This time in our life with young kids and busy schedules is tiring, even exhausting at times. And sure, I complain sometimes. I might wish it was different at times. But then I remember how full our lives are too. We have so many great things to be thankful for and we are involved in so many rewarding endeavors. Not to mention our kids are young and so fun right now. They are constantly making us laugh at the silly things they do. These years do go by so fast and we won't get them back once they are gone. So I am just trying to enjoy the precious little time I have when they want me to hold them and rock them to sleep. I am just trying to enjoy the days when they get so messy from eating new foods that I have to clean them in the bath tub. And I am just trying to enjoy the days when I am so tired, but so happy at the full day that I just had.

Yes, it's hard work being a stay at home mom and a work from home mom all at the same time. But I feel like I am turning into a hard working woman who is going through the refiners fire and coming out on the other end a much stronger and much more loving and patient person. I am learning that our trials do indeed make us stronger and honestly I wouldn't want to change my life right now. If and when I don't need to work from home anymore I am sure I will sit down and think "what do I do now?"

 

 

Journey to a healthier me

Four years ago, after being married for about 2.5 years and just after I graduated college, I weighed around 200 lbs and was very unhappy with the way I felt and looked, not to mention very unhealthy. I was always thin in high school and played sports and ate pretty well. I definitely considered myself healthy.

(Senior Year in High School)

 

 My mom taught us a lot about healthy eating and keeping out bodies healthy through herbal supplements, etc. Then I went away to college and gained the dreaded freshmen 15. There is just something about suddenly being all on your own and making EVERY decision for yourself. Also, the fact that I lived in a dorm and wasn't able to cook any of my own food was a big problem. Fast forward a year and I got married.

 

(On our Honeymoon)

 

 To this day I am not quite sure what triggered my rapid weight gain, but I think it was a combination of birth control, less exercise than my body was used to and not knowing how to feed my body the healthy foods it needed. I had changed a lot over the last few years and my body had as well. I didn't drastically change my eating habits or binge eat but I also was eating out a lot and didn't know what foods were good or bad for me specifically. Also, I think as women our bodies start to change so much at this age in preparation for child birth, etc.

I don't think I had realized just how much weight I had gained until I went to the doctor for a regular check up and she mentioned it, somewhat rudely, and I left the office in tears. My not so healthy lifestyle went on for about 2.5 years. I don't know exactly what I weighed in high school but I am thinking it was around 140-150 lbs. So in a matter of 4 years I gained about 50 lbs. 12-13 lbs a year doesn't seem like much but add those years together and suddenly it is.

 

(At the end of 2007, a few months after being married)

 

(This was Christmas of 2008)

 

(August of 2009)

 

(October of 2009 at my heaviest)

 

 

At 200 lbs I was miserable. I hated the way I looked and was ashamed. I didn't feel comfortable in any clothes I bought and I just felt crappy all the time. Just before I graduated college I decided to try the HCG diet. We were living in Modesto and a friend of mine who I went to church with suggested we do it together. It was a very low calorie, dangerously low in my opinion, diet. It was very restrictive and you were advised not to exercise while on it. I'm assuming this was due to the low calorie part and because it was too dangerous. If I remember correctly, I never ate breakfast other than some liquid. Then for lunch and dinner you were allowed a small piece of lean protein and as many vegetables (but these were limited to only some kinds) as you wanted and a small portion of fruit. I managed to lose about 10-15 pounds in a month or so and was obviously happy with the results. But it was a miserable time. I felt deprived and starved 95% of the time. I was grumpy, moody and still not happy.

 

(In May of 2010, a month after I found out I was pregnant)

 

Then I found out I was pregnant and stopped it right away. Funny enough, I wasn't sure if I was pregnant right away because of the HCG in my system from the diet. I had to wait a few days for it to clear out and take another pregnancy test to make sure it was actually positive.

 

(November 2010, a month before I delivered Afton)

I only gained about 25 lbs with Afton, a reasonable amount for a pregnancy. But I by no means was feeding my body what I should have during that pregnancy and I didn't exercise. I had very low energy and had acid reflux almost every day.

 

(The day Afton was born, December 9th, 2010)

 

Then came Afton. I was back to my heaviest weight again, maybe a little less and was unhappy with the way I felt and looked, again. I had a beautiful new baby and a loving husband to support me but I knew something needed to change.

 

(Probably February of 2011) 

 

I slowly started to learn about eating healthier and started exercising some at home. I came across a raw food diet plan that I was really excited about. The book was what motivated me and really opened my eyed to all the different kinds of foods and ways to prepare them. For the first time in my life I thought about things like eating food raw vs. cooked, what kind of foods my body digested easily and what foods shouldn't be eaten together to maintain optimal digestion. I managed to lose a substantial amount of weight, I'm not really sure how much because I didn't write it down, but more or less what I lost doing HCG. I bet I was down to 180 or so at this point.

 

(One of the first "healthy food pictures I took!"

 

(September 2011. A few months after starting the raw food diet. By this time I really felt I was starting to see some progress.)

 

This diet was much healthier and really taught me some great principles and food ideas that I still pull from today. I quickly realized a raw food diet was not for me and it fizzled out, but I am happy to say this is where I really started to change my views on food and develop a healthy lifestyle. I developed a love for veggies and my love for fruits deepened as well. This was about the time Afton started eating solid foods and it was so exciting for me to know I was nourishing my little one with exactly what her body needed.

 

 

(January 2011. Still making progress.)

 

In April of 2012 we decided to move to Santa Rosa so Chad could finish school. I had been able to maintain the healthy eating habits I developed with the raw food diet and then some. I am sure I continued to lose weight, although very slowly. I am sure I was around 175-170 at this point.

 

(A few months after moving to Santa Rosa at my brothers wedding. I remember feeling so great in this picture!)

 

After we had been in Santa Rosa for a few months, I decided to try veganism for a little while. A friend was doing a 30 day challenge and asked if I wanted to do it with her. I was excited because I had begun to plateau with my weight loss and needed to try something new. I did a lot of research about plant based diets and really became serious about cutting dairy and meat out of my diet. I went back and forth between a completely vegan diet and a vegetarian diet for about 6 months. I did eat some meat here and there but it was pretty limited. And the only dairy I had was cheese and a little butter here and there.

 

(October 2012. Can you tell how HAPPY I look?)

 

Honestly, this was the best I had felt in years. I also took up running about the same time that I started the vegan diet. I started slowly and followed a 5k training regimen. I got to the point where I could run steadily for 10-15 minutes without stopping. I was probably still really slow, running around a 13 or 14 minute mile. But I had made amazing strides. I probably could have improved a lot more than I did looking back now but I was happy with what I accomplished. I managed to get down to 164 lbs by the beginning of 2013.

 

This was the thinnest I had been in probably 6 years. The weight loss was an added bonus, what was so satisfy was that I was happy with who I was and how I was living. I had finally learned how to take care of my body and live a healthy life style. In addition, I was confident that I was taking care of my family in the best way possible. My then two year old was eating healthy foods and more importantly saw her mom happy. She saw a mom who was taking care of her body, treating it like the temple it is. And even more importantly my young daughter was already learning these good habits.

 

(On the left at my heaviest in Oct 2009. Right is me about 4 months pregnant with Hayden in May 2013. It's amazing what a difference four years can bring.)

 

In January we found out I was pregnant with Hayden. I kept up my healthy eating throughout my whole pregnancy and again only gained about 25 lbs. I managed to run for a majority of my pregnancy too. When I hit my third trimester I really didn't exercise much.

 

(October 2013- A few weeks before giving birth to Hayden)

 

 Hayden was born and of course I had a wonderful (insert sarcasm) post baby body. At this point I was exactly 15 lbs heavier than before I had Hayden I was ok with that. For the first time in my life I knew I could lose the weight just maintaining my normal lifestyle. I wasn't looking for the next fad diet or desperately grabbing onto a hope of losing the weight in a few weeks. I knew it would take time and work, hard work. I started running again about 7 weeks after I had Hayden. It had probably been almost 9 months since I had had any regular exercise and I was really out of shape. I don't think I could run for more than a minute on my first run. And it probably only lasted a half mile or so. But it felt good! I could finally run again and my body immediately responded in a positive way.

 

It's been 5 months since Hayden was born and a little over 3 months since I started losing the baby weight and getting my body in shape. I am down 9 pounds and have 6 to go before I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I fit into all my pre-pregnancy clothes and am really starting to love my body again. I was happy after having Hayden but of course it's always nice to start feeling like yourself again and be confident in your own skin. I am 100% confident I will lose the rest of the weight I want to. Even if it takes another 3 months, I'm ok with that.

 

(Left was May 2012 just after we had moved to Santa Rosa. May was April 2014, 6 months post partum and probably almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight.)

 

My goal is to go even further. My ideal weight is around 150 lbs and that will be overall goal. Again, I am confident that this is achievable. I know it won't be easy and it will require a lot of time and dedication but this is my life now. I love eating healthy and I love exercising. I can now run 2 miles without stopping and have run those two miles at a 11 min pace consistently. My best time has been a 10.5 min two mile pace. I am planning on running my first 5K in early April and my goal is to get my pace down to 10 min by then. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful friend and running partner who has really helped me to push myself to limits I never thought possible. I call her my own "Jillian Michaels." She is exactly what I needed to take my running to a new level. I still have a long ways to go and much to learn but I am excited. I hope to one day run a half marathon.

 

In the meantime I plan on reaching my goal weight before anymore little Bringhurst's join our family. What's so great is that I know I will never again have to worry about being overweight, unhealthy or unhappy. I know my kids will learn the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and will know how to treat their bodies like a temple. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me an amazing body that does so many wonderful things. I feel empowered to know that I can grow a child, bring him into this world, nourish him and still manage to keep my body healthy along the way. Being a mother is one of my greatest accomplishments and being a daughter of God has allowed me the freedom to be happy and healthy throughout my journey of motherhood and life.

 

(Left is May 2008 and right is 8 months post partum with Hayden, June 2014 and back to my pre-pregnancy weight maybe even a little below. What a difference 6 years can make!)

 

So I wrote this a few months ago and never published it so I thought I would add another update. Hayden is almost 10 1/2 months old. So that means I have been exercising and eating healthy and working on losing weight for about 9 months post delivery. I am happy to report that I have lost 25.5 lbs. So in 6 months time I have lost another 16 pounds. I am now 10 pounds below my pre=pregnancy weight with Hayden. I have also ran a 9.5 minute mile which is a hug accomplishment. It is so nice reading my goals from 6 months ago and realizing I have not only achieved those goals but gone so much farther. I realize I still have farther to go to reach my optimum weight and body, but who doesn't? I think we should always have a goal to be healthier and improve ourselves and that is what makes me so happy about this journey. I don't sign with regret when I step on the scale and haven't lost weight in a few weeks. I have come to realize my body has a pattern of stalling for a few weeks and then all of the sudden dropping a pound or two. But even if I didn't lost anymore weight I can honestly say I am fine with that. I have come to appreciate my curves and my extra weight here and there. It reminds me of my two beautiful children and it also reminds me that I am not working so hard to lose weight and get a "bikini body", I am working so hard to be healthy. And right now, I am healthy!

 

(August 2014)

 

2 years (plus a little extra)

The fact that Afton is 2 years old blows my mind. Blows. My. Mind. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually true because it doesn't seem like it could be possible. I swear I was just walking around like a zombie from the lack of sleep. I swear it was just yesterday that she was learning how to crawl, walk and eat solid foods.

Now she is potty trained! She talks up a storm and has developed her own very distinct personality. And by distinct I mean, stubborn, silly, smart and energetic.

She is the most fascinating and hilarious child I have ever met. She is always surprising me and making me laugh. The phrase "the kids say the darnedest things" has never rung more true.

I started potty training her about a month after she turned two. I had many, many doubts but I decided to go for it anyway. Turns out she is a potty training genius or maybe I am? All I care about is that all of us made it through potty training with our entire brains entact. And the chocolate bribing only lasted a few days. Success!

Afton is also talking up a storm. She isn't the most precise or understandable with her talking but not for lack of trying. Her favorite phrases lately are "more cheerios," "watch Cinderella" and "mommy"(in a very annoying whiny voice).  She also has started to copy many of Chad's silly phrases such as "poop da loop." This is a Chad-ism so please don't ask me where he got it or why he says it. I have NO idea. What I do know is that Afton heard him says it over and over again and decided she too would like to say it when she went to the bathroom. I now have to remind my dear husband that she will repeat ANYTHING and we need to be just a little more careful about silly phrases we decide to teach her.

She also asks for her "Papas(Grandpas)" almost everyday. She is enamored with them to say the least.

Cheese is still her favorite food, which I am thinking will last a while, if not forever. She also has a particular affinity for Olives, Crackers, Pizza, Cheerios and "Juice"- which is her word for any kind of drink.

Every morning when she wakes up without fail she asks for a bowl of cheerios with Rice Milk and to watch "Rella" or Cinderella. Since I have been working from home this happens more than I would like. But the girl loves that movie! She will sit through the whole thing laughing at the mice and gasping when the evil stepmother does something evil. It never gets old to her, which means I put up with it because that is uninterrupted. Mom of the year, I know.

Afton will often hit me and say "no!" Sometimes for a good reason and sometimes for no reason at all. But almost always it is followed with a sweet sorry and a hand stroking my face. Sorry is actually another one of her favorite words. She doesn't always use it in the right context though. She says it whenever she drops anything. I asked her to throw a piece of celery in the garbage and on the way she dropped. She turns to me says sorry and picks it up and throws it away successfully. She just makes me laugh so much.

She is still attached to me at the hip. She is always wanting to sit on my lap. Her way of telling me this is just simply saying lap and then expecting me to drop everything and let her. I'm sure it's no surprise that she gets pretty upset when it doesn't happen that way.

She is getting better about being nicer to Oliver but she still has her moments of doggie-torture. But Oliver is so sweet with her. She could pull his ears/tail/legs really hard to the point of hurting and he still is patient and only yelps. He has never even thought about doing anything else even though he is probably entitled to most of the time. Dogs really have it hard. A sibling could totally defend themselves but poor dogs just have to take it.

All in all Afton is the most wonderful daughter I could ask for. I'm sure there will be many more temper tantrums and funny new phrases in the future and I can't wait for each one.

The great multi-tasker

It's safe to say I've always been a multi-tasker. I've been told, although I don't know if there is actually anyway to confirm these stories, that I used to organize playing schedules while simultaneously bossing my little brother around. I've also been told that I would often eat and demand something else to eat simultaneously. The Kool-Aid incident is famous in our family. So, I think you get my drift? Even at a young age I learned to multi-task. Fast forward to high school. I took AP classes, played water polo (half-heartedly) participated in swimming, was co-editor and then editor of the school newspaper and still managed to have time for friends and family. Again, a multi-tasker. Then I got married, at the very ripe age 19 and suddenly multi-tasking took on a whole new meaning. Suddenly there were two of us going to school, two of us working and a house to take care of. Then, yet again, multi-tasking became a new beast altogether with the birth of our first child, Afton. 

Although I was blessed to not have to leave the home to work, I have always had some kind of "stay-at-home" part time job. So not only did I have a little baby who was not a very good sleeper for the first 18 months of her life, I also had a job to worry about, a husband to feed, and a house to clean.

Now I know this is normal for a lot of women now a days and some even work outside of the home and still manage to keep everything else in order too. But for me, it has always been a challenge, even in light of my spectacular multi-tasking skills.

But, it has always worked out, and I have always felt fulfilled as a mom and as a worker. When Chad and I moved to Santa Rosa I had a stay at home job that consisted of answering phones after hours for a company. That, was challenging with a child just learning to talk. Now, I have a more fitting job that doesn't involve talking to costumers while trying to shush a two year old. Most of what I do is computer work and I can leave the computer as I please and easily pick up where I left off. It really is the perfect job for a mom. 

I always planned on going back to work when Afton was born because we needed the income at the time, but somehow Heavenly Father always blessed us so that wasn't needed. And he still is. 

I get to lazily be woken up in the morning by my two year old opening my door and saying "mommy." I then pull her into bed with me and we cuddle for a while longer until I can safely leave my bed without a grumpy attitude. Then breakfast is in order and a movie is usually turned on. Lady and the Tramp and Tangled have been the movies of choice lately. Then my day usually consists of working on and off, taking breaks to play with Afton or smother her with kisses. Snacks are often requested and potty breaks are a must, by both mom and baby. Multi-tasking has always seemed to get harder and more involved the older I've gotten, but it is also gotten more rewarding and more important.
There really is no way I could ever, or will ever leave my children in a day care. I just can't do it. The thought makes we want to throw up and cry at the same time. I NEED to be with my Afton everyday. My life isn't complete without her anymore. So although some days it feels like I was a failure as a mother because I didn't spend enough quality time with her and the TV was on way to much, I don't care. I don't care because I am still here to see all her milestones and kiss the bumps and bruises. And I still manage to fit in at least 50 kisses a day.

I am only 25, but I believe I have mastered multi-tasking. 

Great day to be a mom

Being a mom is hard work, sometimes frustrating but always rewarding.

Today was one of those rewarding days.

It was a day when Afton woke up happy and cheerful.

It was a day when she played happily with her stuffed animals by herself while I got things done around the house.
It was a day when she went down easy for a nap and slept for an hour and a half! (almost unheard of for her)

It was a day when she ate ALL her lunch AND dinner without whining or throwing anything on the floor. (It could have helped that her lunch was chips and salsa and her dinner was grilled cheese and apples.)

It was also a day where she was just uncontrollably cute. She kept giving me hugs and kisses and rubbing by cheek.

It was a day where she obediently got ready for bed. Jammie's, books, teeth brushing and prayers.

It was a day where she repeated every word of the prayer I said and it just melted my heart.

And after all this, it was a night where I rocked my baby and we talked.

What? You don't think you can have an intellectual, back and forth conversation with a two year old? I beg to differ. Here's how ours went:

 

Me: Afton, do you know that I love you?

Afton: ya.

Me: Do you know that Heavenly Father and Jesus love you?

Afton: yes.

Me: Do you remember Heavenly Father.

Afton: *Nods her head yes*

Me: Do you know why Heavenly Father sent you to me and daddy?

Afton: *shrugs her shoulders*

Me: He sent you to us so that you could get a body and so that you could be a part of our family. He wants you to grow up and live a good life.

Do you know what Jesus did for us? He died for us because he loves us so much. He wanted us to live with Heavenly Father again so he gave his own life so we could. Did you know that?

Afton: yes

 

Our conversation continued and I told her about Joseph Smith and Mormon and the Book of Mormon and why we have it and what it teaches us.

Yes, she is young and probably didn't understand half of what I was telling her.

But you know what? She listened to every word with rapture. She was truly interested in what I was saying and was answering every question with some kind of response. This is miracle considering she is a busy two year old who hardly has enough time to sit still while I change her diaper most of the time. And you can forget about her listening to my every word most of the time, unless it's food, then she listens!

After we had our talk I just had this rush of overwhelming love and emotion for this little spirit encase in this beautiful body of my daughter.

I have never loved anyone so fully as I love her. Of course I have a wonderful marriage with a wonderful husband who I love more than anyone else, but your love for a child is different in many ways. They are perfect and in my opinion that allows us to love them perfectly. They may be terrors half the time and destroy our possessions, wardrobe and sanity but it doesn't matter. The minute they kiss us we forget it all. It's like it never happened.

I am so lucky to be this little girls mom and so lucky that my Heavenly Father trusted me enough with such a special spirit. I know everything I told her tonight is true and my greatest hope for her is that she can grow up and gain her own testimony of these truths.

For now though I will love her every day and teach her everything I have learned in my own short life and hope that is enough.

 

I love you Afton!

 

 

Thank you for a wonderful two years.

Loving Lately...

There are a lot of things to love in life. These are just a few of mine:

New TV:

Revolution- your typical end of days plot but intriguing and good acting.

The Mindy Project- Hilarious! That's all I have to say.

 

Nashville- I just really like Hayden Panettiere. She was great in Heroes and this one too. And who couldn't love Connie Britton from Friday Night Lights. Plus good country music :-)

 

New Girl- Not exactly new, it's the second season. But it has easily become my favorite show. Please watch!

Books:

Scream-Free Parenting- the title says it all and most parents realize they need to keep their cool when raising their children but it always helps to be reminded. This is a refreshing take on parenting. 

 

Five Love Languages- again, most people realize marriage is work and we should always be thinking about how to better ourselves and love our spouses but this is a completely new idea to me. We all love differently and express it differently and in order to have the best marriage possible we need to explore these different ways of loving.

 

Rock-A Bye Farm and The Moon in My Room- obviously (I hope) Afton's favorite books lately. They are sweet and great bedtime books. I am so happy Afton loves reading books now.

Food:

Homemade Pizza- Made the dough and sauce and topped with Mozzarella cheese, cherry tomatoes and olives. Our favorite!

Crunchy cabbage and apple salad- sweet, crunchy and healthy!

Trader Joe's Eggplant Hummus, Multi-Grain Pita Chips and Cinnamon Apple Sticks- Trader Joe's is great for snacks, what can I say?

Banana Oatmeal Choc Chip Cookies- Flourless, vegan, almost sugarless cookie. My favorite go to healthy cookie.

Afton's antics:

I Love You's- Is there anything better than your child learning to say I live you? I think not. Oh wait, maybe if they make up their own actions. That's better.

Lego's- She likes to put these in the funniest places. Exhibit A: Dad's toes.

Hand Holding- I might be encouraging her to hold hands with all her little boy friends. Abram loved it as much as she did!

Friend time- We have a nice play group here established and I just love seeing Afton interact with all her friends. They especially liked the hot tub.

Family Time:

Sunset walks- Santa Rosa never runs out of beautiful places to see. We have been trying to take as many walks as possible, soaking up the end of summer nights.

Conference Cuddling- we had a wonderful two days of cuddling (and sleeping, chad, cough, chad) on the couch and listening to amazing talks from our General Authorities of the Church.

Life is sometimes hard, but mostly lovely. Life is sometimes loud, but mostly filled with love. Life is sometimes filled with things we hate, but mostly filled with things we love.