There has been a lot of frustration, anger, hurt and misunderstanding in our world this last week. I feel deeply and tend to embrace others feelings and hold them into myself. So during weeks of particular unrest, I feel very dragged down and heavy. This is how I felt last week. I really felt like I was carrying the weight of the world at moments.
My heart hurt.
When this happens, I tend to feel overwhelmed with my daily duties of mothering, church service and discipleship. It suddenly feels like there is too much to do, too many people to love and help. Caring to a fault is a burden I bear. This may not always be apparent to others, and I am no means calling myself a Mother Theresa, but it's something I deal with and struggle through.
But I am also so glad for this gift that my Heavenly Father has given me. Because the other part to this gift is that I can pretty easily love others. I work on it daily, but as I get older, it's easier for me to see the good in everyone. It's becoming easier to forgive, to let go and to be happy despite the unhappiness around me at times. And I know without a doubt that this is the Holy Ghost guiding me.
When I start to feel hurt by something someone else does, I try to take a step back and figure out why they are doing what they are doing. What is motivating them? Did they mean to hurt me? The answer is more often than not, "No." The answer I usually receive to my daily prayers of "what should I do Heavenly Father?" is FORGIVE, LOVE.
So with that in mind, I wanted to get some feelings off my chest. I wanted to express some thoughts I have been having.
Unless you have lived under a rock, you know about the Women's Marches that took place all around the world this weekend. News of this event was plastered over every surface of social media, everyone was talking about it and my own city held a sizeable march. Whether you agree with it or not, it was a big deal. Whenever that many people come together, it's news worthy.
I did not march. I don't necessarily understand some of the motives behind what happened. But what I do understand is how to love. So that is where I am coming from with this post.
I'll admit a few times this weekend I was upset about the marching. Frustrated for reasons I won't get into and really, are very silly. But I let other's negative emotions and opinions about the Women's march cloud my head and heart and judgement and I'm ashamed of that. I'm ashamed for the negative thoughts I had about other women. So in an attempt to resolve those feelings within my own heart and make sure they don't make their way back, I was thinking about what I should do. How can I relate to so many women that have very different feelings than I do?
I had another experience today that gave me the answer. I was talking with a woman on the phone today and she told me about an experience she had a few weekends ago. She over heard two woman talking somewhat negatively. They just happened to be talking about her in a roundabout way and while they weren't attacking her personally, what they said still hurt her.
The conversation they had centered around how they preferred to do something on their own and didn't want to give working with a partner a chance. Working with a partner was more time consuming, harder. They had to put more effort into it, learn to work with someone that was potentially a lot different than they are and meld two personalities together. They had to be unified.
It suddenly struck me that I understood how they felt! I didn't necessarily agree with the sentiment they were expressing but I understood. My mind starting racing and I was trying to figure out how I could help the woman I was talking to. How could I help the situation in a positive way and help these women connect?
The conclusion I came to is that we need to be teachable, open to new ideas and friendships. We also need to be open to ideas that we are opposed to. This doesn't mean we have to accept ideas we don't like, just that we should be able to listen to and understand others without malice or frustration.
Alma 12:10 states: "And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until is it given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full."
We can't be afraid to do something that challenges us, stretches our abilities, something that is unfamiliar and scary. And to most of us, trying to understand someone else's point of view (that is very different than ours) is scary, not to mention hard. So we tend to take the easy route and say that it's not worth the effort. We tell others to "get over" their emotions because we think they are silly. We isolate ourselves and do it all alone.
Well that is exactly the opposite of what Jesus Christ teaches us. He wants us to love others and we can't do that being alone all the time or drowning in our sorrows or refusing to acknowledge others sorrows or problems.
I can't say I understand much of the sentiment behind the Women's march. I suppose I've been very blessed in that I haven't ever felt slighted as a women. I haven't been made to feel less than the men in my life. I haven't ever been abused, sexually, physically or emotionally. And if I have ever felt this way, my personality type pretty easily let's it go.
Now with that said, let me tell you what I do understand. For many reasons, a lot of people are hurting. Some just want a brighter future for women, but some really have been hurt so badly and they don't know what to do about it.
When I think about my dear friends and relatives who supported and participated this weekend, what I am really thinking about it how much I love and respect each of them. I know many of them very well. They are my friends, family members. They are people that serve right next to me at church, people that I used to go to school with. They are women who are so generous and loving in their service to others. They are women who are amazing mothers and who are trying to teach their daughters (and sons) to respect and love everyone.
And for this reason alone I want to understand them. I want them to know that I love them, even if we have different views. Really, our different views are what makes all women so great.
So what I propose is this, let's stop focusing on our differences. I'm going to try to. I may not ever march or protest because that's not what I feel like doing personally. But what I will do is serve my fellow sisters. I will love and serve Heavenly Father's children just like he has asked me to do. I will do this by visiting, talking to, bringing dinners, babysitting, teaching and showing empathy.
I'll end with a quote from President Monson, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." Let us all focus more on our relationships and more on loving one another. When we do this, our differences won't seem so insurmountable, in fact they will start to be a blessing to one another.
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