Happiness

These last few weeks of unemployment have been hard. Rewarding, but difficult none the less. I have gotten a lot accomplished that I wouldn't have been able to working 40 hours a week, but then the thought of "how am I going to pay all the bills in a few more weeks?" consistently pops in my mind. So that's where my mind is at right now. Content but uncertain. However, the content and happy seem to be outweighing my uncertainty and terror. The reason for this really boils down to one thing: we can chose to be happy or we can chose to be unhappy. Well, I've chosen to be happy. Let me tell you how I've been doing that:

First, I've been having faith. This was not so at first and I must admit that breakdowns and tears have been more abundant than I would like in the last few weeks. But so many things have happened that have almost forced me to have faith. I know forcing faith kind of defeats the whole purpose, but you get what I'm saying right? Good. Last week, Thursday or Friday, I was searching for jobs online and getting more upset by the minute thinking it was an impossible to task to find a job as quickly as I needed to. I just happened to walk by the front door and saw this:
Someone had slid a torn out page from some kind of proselyting manual into our front door. I have no idea from what book it came or from what religion the person who slid it into my door belongs to, but I do know that the message that person decided to share with me is universal. And it's what I needed to hear to keep getting through my day. Let me share:
"Faith includes knowing the way that the promises of God apply to me. Faith is believing in Jesus. It means knowing about him, that he taught about the kingdom of God, that he performed miracles showing the he was sent from God, and that he died on the cross for sinners. It also means being confident and sure that Jesus died for my sins. Through faith I know that Jesus loves me. Faith involves knowledge and assurance, and it it also a relationship that involves both head and heart. Faith comes from hearing the message 'God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life' (John 3:16)."

It was a sweet but simple message. So I owe a thank you to whoever decided to help me that day and motivate me to keep having faith that everything will work out the way it should.

Second, I was asked to give a talk in church this last Sunday. My topic: The Atonement. I was a bit overwhelmed with the topic but it ended up being just what I needed. There isn't a better way to forget about your own problems and trials than to focus on the Savior and all he went through for us. In preparing my talk I came across one statement given by Elder Russell M Nelson that really helped me to forget about my problems: "When we comprehend His voluntary Atonement, any sense of sacrifice on our part becomes completely overshadowed by a profound sense of gratitude for the privilege of serving him."

Third, I have a lot to be happy about:
A wonderful husband who is going to be a great father...(we watched our neighbors son for a little while on Saturday and this is what he preferred to do the whole time :-)
A cute dog who makes me smile when I am sad:
And a little girl to look forward to in just a few short months...

Life is hard, but life is good.

Maternity Days

Pregnancy changes you. If you've been pregnant before then this fact certainly won't be news to your ears. I expected changes, I knew my body would change and that I might get morning sickness or even "pregnancy brain," but I really had no idea just how much I would change.

I feel like my brain was cut in half. Literally, I feel like I can only use half my brain now. Blonde moments seem to occur way to much lately, half the time I can't even remember my own name or how old I am and I can't seem to remember what I ate for breakfast most of the time. Sometimes I feel utterly useless. I was fully capable of handling the high stress job I had prior to getting pregnant but during pregnancy the job was just unmanageable for me. I was constantly having panic attacks or mental break downs or crying on my husbands shoulder. Granter my job and my boss were the cause of most of these problems, but pregnancy certainly seemed to make it harder. So, I quit! I just couldn't do it anymore and I didn't like the way the negativity at work made me feel at home. I certainly didn't want the baby growing inside of me to feel constant unhappiness before she even made her appearance into this world.
So, I quit. I an certainly not the kind of person to quit a job if I don't have anything else lined up and I have never really been "unemployed" for more than a few weeks so it's a scary and new challenge. But it was the right decision and I am happy at last. So I am looking for a new job, although it's quite a challenge nowadays, not to mention I'm 6 months pregnant. But it's ok. I am a strong believer that life happens the way it is supposed to and that Heavenly Father will look out for our little family. He always has before ;-)

On a lighter note... we are starting to prepare for our little girl and I am getting quite excited. We have actually picked out a name for her and although I tell Chad that I reserve the right to change her name once we actually see her, the name we have picked out feels right. So for now we are calling her Afton Elizabeth. Hopefully she will feel like an Afton after she is born.
We are also starting to prepare Afton's room...Finally! Our spare room/office/room collecting boxes and junk has started to look a little more like a nursery. We cleaned it out a little and we also sold our huge monstrous desk (pictured below) to make room for....

Afton's Crib!! Tadah!
We found our crib at Target for $150 bucks and it also included a free changing table. Yay! We were going to just get a crib and be creative with a changing table so this was a very unexpected blessing.
I have also finally picked out my nursery theme/colors. Below is a rough idea of the colors (as good as I could do in "paint.").
And my wonderful friend Lindsey has agreed to do some beautiful paintings for the baby's room. Below are the beautiful paintings that inspired my nursery idea. Thanks Lindsey!!



And last but certainly not least: some pregnant pics! For my sister especially. I feel like I am finally actually looking pregnant and not just completely bloated and fat. So I am now willing to post these :-)

22 weeks

24 weeks
I am happy! Although I am jobless, I am happy. I can honestly say I have never been happier than I am now. I have a wonderful supportive husband who makes me feel beautiful everyday despite my constant weight gain and growing belly. And I have a baby growing inside of me. Heavenly father has blessed our family tremendously. We couldn't ask for more.

Summer Continued- August

August was a good month. We kicked the month off with a trip to Monterey with Chad's family. This our favorite vacation spot so we visit as often as we can. Chad, Emily, Bobby and I left later than everyone else because of work. So we headed out of Modesto about 6 o'clock. To our major disappointment after about 20 minutes of driving on the I-5 we ran into this:

Cars were at a complete stop with no hope of moving. After about 20 minutes of waiting we drove along the shoulder and were lucky enough to find somewhere to get onto the other side of the freeway. Then we googled and map-quested on the three i-phones we had in the car until we found what we thought was a reasonable alternative route. Instead of heading all the way up the 99 and around to San Jose we found a road that by-passed that and headed straight west. "This will just be great" we thought. It will take us hardly any time at all. After two hours on a road that was so windy it would put switchbacks to shame we had to finally stop on the side of the road. Let's just say there may have been some throwing up and there was definitely a lot of peeing on the side of the road. And no, not all of that was done by the pregnant woman. I do have photos of after the detour but they are too embarrassing to post, so use your imagination. We hopped back in the car and continued on our winding road of hell. When we saw the bright lights of San Jose we all almost started crying. We ended up getting to Monterey after Midnight. So, not a fun car ride there, but definitely a fun trip to make up for it.
The boys rented wetsuits and boogie boards and even a longboard and braved the waves. Meanwhile the girls sat on camping chairs on the beach and took naps. Much better past time in my opinion...what's better than napping on the beach?

We also visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium:

Those are tiny minnows swimming behind Chad's head if you are interested to know.

Group Picture outside the aquarium. Yes, I am pregnant. No, I have not just gained a ton of weight. I'll just clear that up now.

Also in August is my wonderful mother's birthday. Can you believe this lady is 49? I can't!

We went to Chevy's to celebrate the occasion.

And finishing up August Chad and I headed to Monterey yet again to celebrate our third wedding anniversary. Chad's dad gets quite a bit of hotel points racked up from working away from home so often so he kindly offered to get us a hotel room for two nights. We decided it was probably now or never to get a romantic trip for our anniversary since our little one will be due before our next anniversary. We also decided to take Oliver with us even though we were a little hesitant because we couldn't leave him in the hotel room because they "technically" didn't allow pets.
But we opted to bring him and were so glad we did. It forced us to do more activities outside and more walking on the beach. It also helped us to save money as well, which never hurts. Not to mention Oliver had the time of his life with an unlimited supply of sand to dig in and many seagulls to chase.

We did leave Oliver for about an hour to go on a Catamaran ride in Santa Cruz. It was a blast and very eventful. It was so windy the boat owners opted to use the sails instead of the engines, but about half way through the ride, the sail ripped! We also sighted Dolphins as well.

And this was our last morning on the beach trying to soak up as much as we could before we headed back to Modesto. It was a wonderfully relaxing trip and gave Chad and I some time to just be together. Even though we live together it seems like we don't get enough time just to take walks and talk. So this trip was well worth the wait!

All in all August was a fantastic month and a great way to end the hottest of the summer months.

Summer in Review- July

So remember last post when I said I would never go that long again without posting. Well, I lied. Apparently I am a liar. So here we are again...two months later...and I did it again. But you know, it happens. So let's see where we left off:

Sometime in July:

We picked peaches from my mom's peach tree and I tried my hand at canning. It went well but took FOREVER! I knew it wouldn't be easy but it was very time consuming for such little results. But we do have some fresh peaches canned now to add to our food storage. So that's a plus.

While Chad picked the peaches.... Oliver... ate peaches off the ground...

and flirted with Whiskers through the window.

The end result.

Oh and this is what Chad and Oliver did while I canned until my hands bled(ok they didn't bleed, overreaction)...made funny faces. What's new?

Oliver has kept his summer schedule pretty open so that he could get in plenty of naps.

He also decided to nap even more when I told him come January our house would be getting little sleep. I encourage his naps because I get to snap cute pictures such as the following:

July also brought more garden sensations. The watermelons didn't get as big as we hoped but turned out really good.

They looked a little different but tasted delicious!

We took many walks at dry creek (a nice walking path in Modesto) when it wasn't too hot. Ariana liked to tag along too. Oliver just likes walks period.

It really is a beautiful place to walk, very relaxing. Except when your pregnant and are trying to get used to feeling like you constantly have a full bladder. Then walking gets a little trickier. I have started to perfect the art of walking

That's one happy dog.

July also brought family birthdays and a chance to catch up with my dad's side of the family.
Here's the birthday girl/woman laughing at all of the Alkire's funny and sometimes inappropriate for kids birthday cards.

Cody and Chad listening to colorful conversations and trying to stay entertained...or rather staying entertained without trying. There is certainly never a dull moment with the Alkire's.

Aunt Debbie, Aunt Sue, Great-Aunt Donna and Micki.

Last but certainly not least...July brought us a surprise visit from Jill, Dixie and Parker. They went to Disneyland with Chad's family and decided last minute to make a stop in Modesto for a few days so that we could see them. It's always fun to have them around!

July- Check. On to August....