It wasn't a bad day I will remember forever and I don't look back and groan or anything but I just wasn't feeling myself today. Poor Chad hurt his back at work on Saturday and has been out of it. And by out of it I mean, on the couch or in bed because that is the only way he isn't in pain. It is slowly getting better with the help of a chiropractor and no work due to a workman's comp claim (yay!). BUT, and this is a big but here, it is always tough when dad doesn't feel good. Or when anyone doesn't feel good. It just gives your house an on edge feeling ya know? It's impossible to avoid some grumpiness (from everyone). So with that said I have been flying solo in the taking care of Afton department the last few days (since Chad can't lift her without putting his sacrum more out of place).
Plus we are still trying to figure out how to survive (financially) with a limited income. I applied to a part time teaching assistant job which means we would have to get some kind of daycare for Afton at least a few days a week. So the stay at home mom of two years is having some issues dealing with that. How have you stay at home moms who had to go back to work deal with the adjustment? It's not that I can't leave Afton, believe me, I think a few hours apart each day would do wonders for my sanity. It's more that I am just so used to being home and having time to cook (healthy), clean, exercise on my own time and always know what is happening with Afton. It will be hard to suddenly have to work during the day and be on call at night and on weekends with my current job and do all the mom/wife duties as well. It's A LOT to consider.
So with the injury/grumpy family/mind filled with too many questions and thoughts I was on the edge of a crying in the shower kind of a night.
Then in the late afternoon I took Oliver to the groomers to get his nails cut, with Afton in tow mind you. When we were about to get out of the car I got a phone call reminding me I forgot to run an errand that afternoon. Not so big of a deal and it was fairly easily corrected, but just another thing to tip my teeter-tottering mood in the wrong direction. On top of that I felt like a fool holding Afton's hand while Oliver is being the WORST dog ever barking insanely at nothing while walking into the groomers. Remind me why I got a dog again?! Then Oliver pees on the floor of the dog groomers. GREAAAAT.
We finally make it out alive but not before I had to go out to the car twice because I forgot my wallet and then I forgot that my debit card was in fact not in the wallet I had just gotten but in the diaper bag in the passenger seat. I'm pretty sure the groomers were glad to see me leave, what with all the peeing and forgetting forms of payment, oh and don't forget the barking.
Back to the teeter-tottering of my mood.
The drive home is helping to mellow me out. (Minus Afton screaming "Mama" in the back seat because she wants more grapes. "Mama" means many things these days: more, I'm mad, I want that, Pick me up, I don't want to go to sleep. That definitely didn't help with the mellowing.) So I'm feeling calmer after I give Afton some grapes. Even Oliver is happily sitting and enjoying the sun.
Then it happened. The thing that tipped the scales in the "Why won't this day end?!" direction.
A woman in front of me cut me off without a blinker or even a hesitation. If I hadn't been paying such good attention and slammed on my brakes I would have hit her. So I did what any other responsible driver would do, I honked at her. Not necessarily a long-drawn-out-I-hate-you honk. More of a did-you-know-that-you-just-cut-me-off? honk. Because honestly I think sometimes people just don't care about driving and would never have known they almost just hit you if you don't let them know. So I gave her a honk and she politely responded with a middle finger out the window.
Wait just a minute...Didn't she just cut me off? Didn't she just almost hit ME? And SHE gives ME the finger?
That was when the left scale hit the floor. My mood plummeted. I wasn't even mad, just sad. Any other day it wouldn't have been a big deal and I would have just forgotten about it two minutes later. But today it made me sad, hurt my feelings and made me disgusted at how easily we humans throw around hate.
My thoughts were as follows:
Sometimes our world sucks.
Sometimes people are just mean.
Wait, sometimes I am that mean person.
Granted I have never flipped someone off, but sometimes I judge people's actions before knowing what they are going through or sometimes I am mean to someone without thinking about what they had gone through that day. It made me realize that I have to be better, nicer, kinder. I need to really think about what I do and say to others because my action could make their scales tip from a sort-of-bad-day to a i-hate-my-life kind of day.
That woman may never know she made me cry or really hurt me. Because let's face it no wants someone to flip them off, especially when they did nothing wrong. And that women may go on flipping people off when she drives (I hope not), but I for one will be more careful about how I treat others. It's been a constant flaw I am working on and it's hard. Being Christlike all the time is impossible.
But I will carry on because I don't want to be the cause of someone's bad day.
So thank you middle finger lady for making me remember who I am and who I want to be. I hope your driving skills improve real soon!
At least Afton and oliver were getting along today? That is the one bright spot to the day...
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