Journey to a healthier me

Four years ago, after being married for about 2.5 years and just after I graduated college, I weighed around 200 lbs and was very unhappy with the way I felt and looked, not to mention very unhealthy. I was always thin in high school and played sports and ate pretty well. I definitely considered myself healthy.

(Senior Year in High School)

 

 My mom taught us a lot about healthy eating and keeping out bodies healthy through herbal supplements, etc. Then I went away to college and gained the dreaded freshmen 15. There is just something about suddenly being all on your own and making EVERY decision for yourself. Also, the fact that I lived in a dorm and wasn't able to cook any of my own food was a big problem. Fast forward a year and I got married.

 

(On our Honeymoon)

 

 To this day I am not quite sure what triggered my rapid weight gain, but I think it was a combination of birth control, less exercise than my body was used to and not knowing how to feed my body the healthy foods it needed. I had changed a lot over the last few years and my body had as well. I didn't drastically change my eating habits or binge eat but I also was eating out a lot and didn't know what foods were good or bad for me specifically. Also, I think as women our bodies start to change so much at this age in preparation for child birth, etc.

I don't think I had realized just how much weight I had gained until I went to the doctor for a regular check up and she mentioned it, somewhat rudely, and I left the office in tears. My not so healthy lifestyle went on for about 2.5 years. I don't know exactly what I weighed in high school but I am thinking it was around 140-150 lbs. So in a matter of 4 years I gained about 50 lbs. 12-13 lbs a year doesn't seem like much but add those years together and suddenly it is.

 

(At the end of 2007, a few months after being married)

 

(This was Christmas of 2008)

 

(August of 2009)

 

(October of 2009 at my heaviest)

 

 

At 200 lbs I was miserable. I hated the way I looked and was ashamed. I didn't feel comfortable in any clothes I bought and I just felt crappy all the time. Just before I graduated college I decided to try the HCG diet. We were living in Modesto and a friend of mine who I went to church with suggested we do it together. It was a very low calorie, dangerously low in my opinion, diet. It was very restrictive and you were advised not to exercise while on it. I'm assuming this was due to the low calorie part and because it was too dangerous. If I remember correctly, I never ate breakfast other than some liquid. Then for lunch and dinner you were allowed a small piece of lean protein and as many vegetables (but these were limited to only some kinds) as you wanted and a small portion of fruit. I managed to lose about 10-15 pounds in a month or so and was obviously happy with the results. But it was a miserable time. I felt deprived and starved 95% of the time. I was grumpy, moody and still not happy.

 

(In May of 2010, a month after I found out I was pregnant)

 

Then I found out I was pregnant and stopped it right away. Funny enough, I wasn't sure if I was pregnant right away because of the HCG in my system from the diet. I had to wait a few days for it to clear out and take another pregnancy test to make sure it was actually positive.

 

(November 2010, a month before I delivered Afton)

I only gained about 25 lbs with Afton, a reasonable amount for a pregnancy. But I by no means was feeding my body what I should have during that pregnancy and I didn't exercise. I had very low energy and had acid reflux almost every day.

 

(The day Afton was born, December 9th, 2010)

 

Then came Afton. I was back to my heaviest weight again, maybe a little less and was unhappy with the way I felt and looked, again. I had a beautiful new baby and a loving husband to support me but I knew something needed to change.

 

(Probably February of 2011) 

 

I slowly started to learn about eating healthier and started exercising some at home. I came across a raw food diet plan that I was really excited about. The book was what motivated me and really opened my eyed to all the different kinds of foods and ways to prepare them. For the first time in my life I thought about things like eating food raw vs. cooked, what kind of foods my body digested easily and what foods shouldn't be eaten together to maintain optimal digestion. I managed to lose a substantial amount of weight, I'm not really sure how much because I didn't write it down, but more or less what I lost doing HCG. I bet I was down to 180 or so at this point.

 

(One of the first "healthy food pictures I took!"

 

(September 2011. A few months after starting the raw food diet. By this time I really felt I was starting to see some progress.)

 

This diet was much healthier and really taught me some great principles and food ideas that I still pull from today. I quickly realized a raw food diet was not for me and it fizzled out, but I am happy to say this is where I really started to change my views on food and develop a healthy lifestyle. I developed a love for veggies and my love for fruits deepened as well. This was about the time Afton started eating solid foods and it was so exciting for me to know I was nourishing my little one with exactly what her body needed.

 

 

(January 2011. Still making progress.)

 

In April of 2012 we decided to move to Santa Rosa so Chad could finish school. I had been able to maintain the healthy eating habits I developed with the raw food diet and then some. I am sure I continued to lose weight, although very slowly. I am sure I was around 175-170 at this point.

 

(A few months after moving to Santa Rosa at my brothers wedding. I remember feeling so great in this picture!)

 

After we had been in Santa Rosa for a few months, I decided to try veganism for a little while. A friend was doing a 30 day challenge and asked if I wanted to do it with her. I was excited because I had begun to plateau with my weight loss and needed to try something new. I did a lot of research about plant based diets and really became serious about cutting dairy and meat out of my diet. I went back and forth between a completely vegan diet and a vegetarian diet for about 6 months. I did eat some meat here and there but it was pretty limited. And the only dairy I had was cheese and a little butter here and there.

 

(October 2012. Can you tell how HAPPY I look?)

 

Honestly, this was the best I had felt in years. I also took up running about the same time that I started the vegan diet. I started slowly and followed a 5k training regimen. I got to the point where I could run steadily for 10-15 minutes without stopping. I was probably still really slow, running around a 13 or 14 minute mile. But I had made amazing strides. I probably could have improved a lot more than I did looking back now but I was happy with what I accomplished. I managed to get down to 164 lbs by the beginning of 2013.

 

This was the thinnest I had been in probably 6 years. The weight loss was an added bonus, what was so satisfy was that I was happy with who I was and how I was living. I had finally learned how to take care of my body and live a healthy life style. In addition, I was confident that I was taking care of my family in the best way possible. My then two year old was eating healthy foods and more importantly saw her mom happy. She saw a mom who was taking care of her body, treating it like the temple it is. And even more importantly my young daughter was already learning these good habits.

 

(On the left at my heaviest in Oct 2009. Right is me about 4 months pregnant with Hayden in May 2013. It's amazing what a difference four years can bring.)

 

In January we found out I was pregnant with Hayden. I kept up my healthy eating throughout my whole pregnancy and again only gained about 25 lbs. I managed to run for a majority of my pregnancy too. When I hit my third trimester I really didn't exercise much.

 

(October 2013- A few weeks before giving birth to Hayden)

 

 Hayden was born and of course I had a wonderful (insert sarcasm) post baby body. At this point I was exactly 15 lbs heavier than before I had Hayden I was ok with that. For the first time in my life I knew I could lose the weight just maintaining my normal lifestyle. I wasn't looking for the next fad diet or desperately grabbing onto a hope of losing the weight in a few weeks. I knew it would take time and work, hard work. I started running again about 7 weeks after I had Hayden. It had probably been almost 9 months since I had had any regular exercise and I was really out of shape. I don't think I could run for more than a minute on my first run. And it probably only lasted a half mile or so. But it felt good! I could finally run again and my body immediately responded in a positive way.

 

It's been 5 months since Hayden was born and a little over 3 months since I started losing the baby weight and getting my body in shape. I am down 9 pounds and have 6 to go before I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I fit into all my pre-pregnancy clothes and am really starting to love my body again. I was happy after having Hayden but of course it's always nice to start feeling like yourself again and be confident in your own skin. I am 100% confident I will lose the rest of the weight I want to. Even if it takes another 3 months, I'm ok with that.

 

(Left was May 2012 just after we had moved to Santa Rosa. May was April 2014, 6 months post partum and probably almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight.)

 

My goal is to go even further. My ideal weight is around 150 lbs and that will be overall goal. Again, I am confident that this is achievable. I know it won't be easy and it will require a lot of time and dedication but this is my life now. I love eating healthy and I love exercising. I can now run 2 miles without stopping and have run those two miles at a 11 min pace consistently. My best time has been a 10.5 min two mile pace. I am planning on running my first 5K in early April and my goal is to get my pace down to 10 min by then. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful friend and running partner who has really helped me to push myself to limits I never thought possible. I call her my own "Jillian Michaels." She is exactly what I needed to take my running to a new level. I still have a long ways to go and much to learn but I am excited. I hope to one day run a half marathon.

 

In the meantime I plan on reaching my goal weight before anymore little Bringhurst's join our family. What's so great is that I know I will never again have to worry about being overweight, unhealthy or unhappy. I know my kids will learn the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and will know how to treat their bodies like a temple. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me an amazing body that does so many wonderful things. I feel empowered to know that I can grow a child, bring him into this world, nourish him and still manage to keep my body healthy along the way. Being a mother is one of my greatest accomplishments and being a daughter of God has allowed me the freedom to be happy and healthy throughout my journey of motherhood and life.

 

(Left is May 2008 and right is 8 months post partum with Hayden, June 2014 and back to my pre-pregnancy weight maybe even a little below. What a difference 6 years can make!)

 

So I wrote this a few months ago and never published it so I thought I would add another update. Hayden is almost 10 1/2 months old. So that means I have been exercising and eating healthy and working on losing weight for about 9 months post delivery. I am happy to report that I have lost 25.5 lbs. So in 6 months time I have lost another 16 pounds. I am now 10 pounds below my pre=pregnancy weight with Hayden. I have also ran a 9.5 minute mile which is a hug accomplishment. It is so nice reading my goals from 6 months ago and realizing I have not only achieved those goals but gone so much farther. I realize I still have farther to go to reach my optimum weight and body, but who doesn't? I think we should always have a goal to be healthier and improve ourselves and that is what makes me so happy about this journey. I don't sign with regret when I step on the scale and haven't lost weight in a few weeks. I have come to realize my body has a pattern of stalling for a few weeks and then all of the sudden dropping a pound or two. But even if I didn't lost anymore weight I can honestly say I am fine with that. I have come to appreciate my curves and my extra weight here and there. It reminds me of my two beautiful children and it also reminds me that I am not working so hard to lose weight and get a "bikini body", I am working so hard to be healthy. And right now, I am healthy!

 

(August 2014)

 

2 years (plus a little extra)

The fact that Afton is 2 years old blows my mind. Blows. My. Mind. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually true because it doesn't seem like it could be possible. I swear I was just walking around like a zombie from the lack of sleep. I swear it was just yesterday that she was learning how to crawl, walk and eat solid foods.

Now she is potty trained! She talks up a storm and has developed her own very distinct personality. And by distinct I mean, stubborn, silly, smart and energetic.

She is the most fascinating and hilarious child I have ever met. She is always surprising me and making me laugh. The phrase "the kids say the darnedest things" has never rung more true.

I started potty training her about a month after she turned two. I had many, many doubts but I decided to go for it anyway. Turns out she is a potty training genius or maybe I am? All I care about is that all of us made it through potty training with our entire brains entact. And the chocolate bribing only lasted a few days. Success!

Afton is also talking up a storm. She isn't the most precise or understandable with her talking but not for lack of trying. Her favorite phrases lately are "more cheerios," "watch Cinderella" and "mommy"(in a very annoying whiny voice).  She also has started to copy many of Chad's silly phrases such as "poop da loop." This is a Chad-ism so please don't ask me where he got it or why he says it. I have NO idea. What I do know is that Afton heard him says it over and over again and decided she too would like to say it when she went to the bathroom. I now have to remind my dear husband that she will repeat ANYTHING and we need to be just a little more careful about silly phrases we decide to teach her.

She also asks for her "Papas(Grandpas)" almost everyday. She is enamored with them to say the least.

Cheese is still her favorite food, which I am thinking will last a while, if not forever. She also has a particular affinity for Olives, Crackers, Pizza, Cheerios and "Juice"- which is her word for any kind of drink.

Every morning when she wakes up without fail she asks for a bowl of cheerios with Rice Milk and to watch "Rella" or Cinderella. Since I have been working from home this happens more than I would like. But the girl loves that movie! She will sit through the whole thing laughing at the mice and gasping when the evil stepmother does something evil. It never gets old to her, which means I put up with it because that is uninterrupted. Mom of the year, I know.

Afton will often hit me and say "no!" Sometimes for a good reason and sometimes for no reason at all. But almost always it is followed with a sweet sorry and a hand stroking my face. Sorry is actually another one of her favorite words. She doesn't always use it in the right context though. She says it whenever she drops anything. I asked her to throw a piece of celery in the garbage and on the way she dropped. She turns to me says sorry and picks it up and throws it away successfully. She just makes me laugh so much.

She is still attached to me at the hip. She is always wanting to sit on my lap. Her way of telling me this is just simply saying lap and then expecting me to drop everything and let her. I'm sure it's no surprise that she gets pretty upset when it doesn't happen that way.

She is getting better about being nicer to Oliver but she still has her moments of doggie-torture. But Oliver is so sweet with her. She could pull his ears/tail/legs really hard to the point of hurting and he still is patient and only yelps. He has never even thought about doing anything else even though he is probably entitled to most of the time. Dogs really have it hard. A sibling could totally defend themselves but poor dogs just have to take it.

All in all Afton is the most wonderful daughter I could ask for. I'm sure there will be many more temper tantrums and funny new phrases in the future and I can't wait for each one.

The great multi-tasker

It's safe to say I've always been a multi-tasker. I've been told, although I don't know if there is actually anyway to confirm these stories, that I used to organize playing schedules while simultaneously bossing my little brother around. I've also been told that I would often eat and demand something else to eat simultaneously. The Kool-Aid incident is famous in our family. So, I think you get my drift? Even at a young age I learned to multi-task. Fast forward to high school. I took AP classes, played water polo (half-heartedly) participated in swimming, was co-editor and then editor of the school newspaper and still managed to have time for friends and family. Again, a multi-tasker. Then I got married, at the very ripe age 19 and suddenly multi-tasking took on a whole new meaning. Suddenly there were two of us going to school, two of us working and a house to take care of. Then, yet again, multi-tasking became a new beast altogether with the birth of our first child, Afton. 

Although I was blessed to not have to leave the home to work, I have always had some kind of "stay-at-home" part time job. So not only did I have a little baby who was not a very good sleeper for the first 18 months of her life, I also had a job to worry about, a husband to feed, and a house to clean.

Now I know this is normal for a lot of women now a days and some even work outside of the home and still manage to keep everything else in order too. But for me, it has always been a challenge, even in light of my spectacular multi-tasking skills.

But, it has always worked out, and I have always felt fulfilled as a mom and as a worker. When Chad and I moved to Santa Rosa I had a stay at home job that consisted of answering phones after hours for a company. That, was challenging with a child just learning to talk. Now, I have a more fitting job that doesn't involve talking to costumers while trying to shush a two year old. Most of what I do is computer work and I can leave the computer as I please and easily pick up where I left off. It really is the perfect job for a mom. 

I always planned on going back to work when Afton was born because we needed the income at the time, but somehow Heavenly Father always blessed us so that wasn't needed. And he still is. 

I get to lazily be woken up in the morning by my two year old opening my door and saying "mommy." I then pull her into bed with me and we cuddle for a while longer until I can safely leave my bed without a grumpy attitude. Then breakfast is in order and a movie is usually turned on. Lady and the Tramp and Tangled have been the movies of choice lately. Then my day usually consists of working on and off, taking breaks to play with Afton or smother her with kisses. Snacks are often requested and potty breaks are a must, by both mom and baby. Multi-tasking has always seemed to get harder and more involved the older I've gotten, but it is also gotten more rewarding and more important.
There really is no way I could ever, or will ever leave my children in a day care. I just can't do it. The thought makes we want to throw up and cry at the same time. I NEED to be with my Afton everyday. My life isn't complete without her anymore. So although some days it feels like I was a failure as a mother because I didn't spend enough quality time with her and the TV was on way to much, I don't care. I don't care because I am still here to see all her milestones and kiss the bumps and bruises. And I still manage to fit in at least 50 kisses a day.

I am only 25, but I believe I have mastered multi-tasking. 

Great day to be a mom

Being a mom is hard work, sometimes frustrating but always rewarding.

Today was one of those rewarding days.

It was a day when Afton woke up happy and cheerful.

It was a day when she played happily with her stuffed animals by herself while I got things done around the house.
It was a day when she went down easy for a nap and slept for an hour and a half! (almost unheard of for her)

It was a day when she ate ALL her lunch AND dinner without whining or throwing anything on the floor. (It could have helped that her lunch was chips and salsa and her dinner was grilled cheese and apples.)

It was also a day where she was just uncontrollably cute. She kept giving me hugs and kisses and rubbing by cheek.

It was a day where she obediently got ready for bed. Jammie's, books, teeth brushing and prayers.

It was a day where she repeated every word of the prayer I said and it just melted my heart.

And after all this, it was a night where I rocked my baby and we talked.

What? You don't think you can have an intellectual, back and forth conversation with a two year old? I beg to differ. Here's how ours went:

 

Me: Afton, do you know that I love you?

Afton: ya.

Me: Do you know that Heavenly Father and Jesus love you?

Afton: yes.

Me: Do you remember Heavenly Father.

Afton: *Nods her head yes*

Me: Do you know why Heavenly Father sent you to me and daddy?

Afton: *shrugs her shoulders*

Me: He sent you to us so that you could get a body and so that you could be a part of our family. He wants you to grow up and live a good life.

Do you know what Jesus did for us? He died for us because he loves us so much. He wanted us to live with Heavenly Father again so he gave his own life so we could. Did you know that?

Afton: yes

 

Our conversation continued and I told her about Joseph Smith and Mormon and the Book of Mormon and why we have it and what it teaches us.

Yes, she is young and probably didn't understand half of what I was telling her.

But you know what? She listened to every word with rapture. She was truly interested in what I was saying and was answering every question with some kind of response. This is miracle considering she is a busy two year old who hardly has enough time to sit still while I change her diaper most of the time. And you can forget about her listening to my every word most of the time, unless it's food, then she listens!

After we had our talk I just had this rush of overwhelming love and emotion for this little spirit encase in this beautiful body of my daughter.

I have never loved anyone so fully as I love her. Of course I have a wonderful marriage with a wonderful husband who I love more than anyone else, but your love for a child is different in many ways. They are perfect and in my opinion that allows us to love them perfectly. They may be terrors half the time and destroy our possessions, wardrobe and sanity but it doesn't matter. The minute they kiss us we forget it all. It's like it never happened.

I am so lucky to be this little girls mom and so lucky that my Heavenly Father trusted me enough with such a special spirit. I know everything I told her tonight is true and my greatest hope for her is that she can grow up and gain her own testimony of these truths.

For now though I will love her every day and teach her everything I have learned in my own short life and hope that is enough.

 

I love you Afton!

 

 

Thank you for a wonderful two years.

Loving Lately...

There are a lot of things to love in life. These are just a few of mine:

New TV:

Revolution- your typical end of days plot but intriguing and good acting.

The Mindy Project- Hilarious! That's all I have to say.

 

Nashville- I just really like Hayden Panettiere. She was great in Heroes and this one too. And who couldn't love Connie Britton from Friday Night Lights. Plus good country music :-)

 

New Girl- Not exactly new, it's the second season. But it has easily become my favorite show. Please watch!

Books:

Scream-Free Parenting- the title says it all and most parents realize they need to keep their cool when raising their children but it always helps to be reminded. This is a refreshing take on parenting. 

 

Five Love Languages- again, most people realize marriage is work and we should always be thinking about how to better ourselves and love our spouses but this is a completely new idea to me. We all love differently and express it differently and in order to have the best marriage possible we need to explore these different ways of loving.

 

Rock-A Bye Farm and The Moon in My Room- obviously (I hope) Afton's favorite books lately. They are sweet and great bedtime books. I am so happy Afton loves reading books now.

Food:

Homemade Pizza- Made the dough and sauce and topped with Mozzarella cheese, cherry tomatoes and olives. Our favorite!

Crunchy cabbage and apple salad- sweet, crunchy and healthy!

Trader Joe's Eggplant Hummus, Multi-Grain Pita Chips and Cinnamon Apple Sticks- Trader Joe's is great for snacks, what can I say?

Banana Oatmeal Choc Chip Cookies- Flourless, vegan, almost sugarless cookie. My favorite go to healthy cookie.

Afton's antics:

I Love You's- Is there anything better than your child learning to say I live you? I think not. Oh wait, maybe if they make up their own actions. That's better.

Lego's- She likes to put these in the funniest places. Exhibit A: Dad's toes.

Hand Holding- I might be encouraging her to hold hands with all her little boy friends. Abram loved it as much as she did!

Friend time- We have a nice play group here established and I just love seeing Afton interact with all her friends. They especially liked the hot tub.

Family Time:

Sunset walks- Santa Rosa never runs out of beautiful places to see. We have been trying to take as many walks as possible, soaking up the end of summer nights.

Conference Cuddling- we had a wonderful two days of cuddling (and sleeping, chad, cough, chad) on the couch and listening to amazing talks from our General Authorities of the Church.

Life is sometimes hard, but mostly lovely. Life is sometimes loud, but mostly filled with love. Life is sometimes filled with things we hate, but mostly filled with things we love.

From worse to bad

I have so many posts to write about Afton, our family, Santa Rosa, healthy eating and exercising, but today is one of those days where I NEED to empty my head of every single thought, misery, bad experience, guilty mommy moment and frustration ASAP or it will explode. Explode I tell you.
It wasn't a bad day I will remember forever and I don't look back and groan or anything but I just wasn't feeling myself today. Poor Chad hurt his back at work on Saturday and has been out of it. And by out of it I mean, on the couch or in bed because that is the only way he isn't in pain. It is slowly getting better with the help of a chiropractor and no work due to a workman's comp claim (yay!). BUT, and this is a big but here, it is always tough when dad doesn't feel good. Or when anyone doesn't feel good. It just gives your house an on edge feeling ya know? It's impossible to avoid some grumpiness (from everyone). So with that said I have been flying solo in the taking care of Afton department the last few days (since Chad can't lift her without putting his sacrum more out of place).
Plus we are still trying to figure out how to survive (financially) with a limited income. I applied to a part time teaching assistant job which means we would have to get some kind of daycare for Afton at least a few days a week. So the stay at home mom of two years is having some issues dealing with that. How have you stay at home moms who had to go back to work deal with the adjustment? It's not that I can't leave Afton, believe me, I think a few hours apart each day would do wonders for my sanity. It's more that I am just so used to being home and having time to cook (healthy), clean, exercise on my own time and always know what is happening with Afton. It will be hard to suddenly have to work during the day and be on call at night and on weekends with my current job and do all the mom/wife duties as well. It's A LOT to consider.
So with the injury/grumpy family/mind filled with too many questions and thoughts I was on the edge of a crying in the shower kind of a night.
Then in the late afternoon I took Oliver to the groomers to get his nails cut, with Afton in tow mind you. When we were about to get out of the car I got a phone call reminding me I forgot to run an errand that afternoon. Not so big of a deal and it was fairly easily corrected, but just another thing to tip my teeter-tottering mood in the wrong direction. On top of that I felt like a fool holding Afton's hand while Oliver is being the WORST dog ever barking insanely at nothing while walking into the groomers. Remind me why I got a dog again?! Then Oliver pees on the floor of the dog groomers. GREAAAAT.
We finally make it out alive but not before I had to go out to the car twice because I forgot my wallet and then I forgot that my debit card was in fact not in the wallet I had just gotten but in the diaper bag in the passenger seat. I'm pretty sure the groomers were glad to see me leave, what with all the peeing and forgetting forms of payment, oh and don't forget the barking.
Back to the teeter-tottering of my mood.
The drive home is helping to mellow me out. (Minus Afton screaming "Mama" in the back seat because she wants more grapes. "Mama" means many things these days: more, I'm mad, I want that, Pick me up, I don't want to go to sleep. That definitely didn't help with the mellowing.) So I'm feeling calmer after I give Afton some grapes. Even Oliver is happily sitting and enjoying the sun.
Then it happened. The thing that tipped the scales in the "Why won't this day end?!" direction.
A woman in front of me cut me off without a blinker or even a hesitation. If I hadn't been paying such good attention and slammed on my brakes I would have hit her. So I did what any other responsible driver would do, I honked at her. Not necessarily a long-drawn-out-I-hate-you honk. More of a did-you-know-that-you-just-cut-me-off? honk. Because honestly I think sometimes people just don't care about driving and would never have known they almost just hit you if you don't let them know. So I gave her a honk and she politely responded with a middle finger out the window.
Wait just a minute...Didn't she just cut me off? Didn't she just almost hit ME? And SHE gives ME the finger?
That was when the left scale hit the floor. My mood plummeted. I wasn't even mad, just sad. Any other day it wouldn't have been a big deal and I would have just forgotten about it two minutes later. But today it made me sad, hurt my feelings and made me disgusted at how easily we humans throw around hate.
My thoughts were as follows:
Sometimes our world sucks.
Sometimes people are just mean.
Wait, sometimes I am that mean person.
Granted I have never flipped someone off, but sometimes I judge people's actions before knowing what they are going through or sometimes I am mean to someone without thinking about what they had gone through that day. It made me realize that I have to be better, nicer, kinder. I need to really think about what I do and say to others because my action could make their scales tip from a sort-of-bad-day to a i-hate-my-life kind of day.
That woman may never know she made me cry or really hurt me. Because let's face it no wants someone to flip them off, especially when they did nothing wrong. And that women may go on flipping people off when she drives (I hope not), but I for one will be more careful about how I treat others. It's been a constant flaw I am working on and it's hard. Being Christlike all the time is impossible.
But I will carry on because I don't want to be the cause of someone's bad day.
So thank you  middle finger lady for making me remember who I am and who I want to be. I hope your driving skills improve real soon!
At least Afton and oliver were getting along today? That is the one bright spot to the day...

19 months and Counting

It's been 5 long months since I last did an update on Afton and of course too much to remember has changed , but I will do my motherly best.

Dear Afton.

You are bright, smart, ahead of the game, whichever you please. And I know every mom says that about their child, we have to. We must instill a sense of self confidence in you at a young age. But I am constantly surprised at just how smart you are. Maybe it is just my sense of awe that a 19 month old can do so much without even being able to fully communicate(talking that is). Your list of pronounceable words is growing by the day but you really aren't a "talker". You will repeat words if I ask you to and you still loves to jabber in baby talk. But I wouldn't say you are talking yet. You scream mama or dada once and a while if you REALLY wants something. And you definitely knows how to ask for more food by either saying "more" or "please". Even though you don't talk a lot yet, our communication is awesome. I can give you simple tasks like "go find your shoes" or "go give Oliver a hug" and you know just what I want. Now if I can only get you to listen to me when I want you to STOP something. That is the real challenge.

The terrible two's have started. You climb on anything and everything. You love to climb on your toybox which is behind the love seat and throw yourself over the back of the love seat onto the seat part. Then you will climb down and repeat at least 10 times. You climb on the coffee table every 5 minutes. Seriously considering putting that in storage. *NOTE TO SELF: in the future when we have another child, just get rid of the coffee table for good. They are good for nothing. They aquire junk and are dangerous for not only small children, but very clumsy adults such as myself. Many a swear words have been uttered when a toe was stubbed or a shin slammed. Believe me. Where was I? Oh yes, climbing. We picked You up from nursery two weeks ago and the first thing the nursery leader said is, "she climbed on everything!" Yeah, tell me about it. So far you have not figured out how to climb out of her crib, thank goodness.

You entered nursery at church a month ago and never looked back. It's probably your favorite two hours of the whole week. I mean other babies to learn from (i.e. biting, hitting), snacks to consume, toys to play with and nursery leaders to terrorize with her climbing and consuming of all the snacks. I have also been told by the same nursery leader that "she eats a lot!". Again, tell me about it. Meanwhile, those two hours of nursery where also my favorite of the week. You mean I get a FREE babysitter, a relaxing class to learn and two whole hours to revive by crazy brain. Then....I was called into primary. Sigh, oh well. The peace was fun while it lasted.

You are still a good eater. I wouldn't say you are getting picky, just realizing that you can refuse food if you don't feel like that particular item that is placed in front of you. You still LOVE to drop food on the ground for Oliver. And Oliver still LOVES to wait patiently until you do. Your current favorite foods would have to be: watermelon, raspberries, rice and beans, ANY kind of noodles(long ones preffered), oatmeal and grapes. You are a fruit connoisseur. . I have to limit it because you tend to get diaper rash if you have too much. You are still one of the healthiest eaters I know. I really take pride in that fact. And you will usually always try at least a little of what I put in front of you before you decides you don't like it. We are working on trying to get you to TELL us when you are hungry instead of SCREAM to us you are hungry. So far not much success. When you are hungry, you are hungry and you want everyone to know.

You seriously have no fear. You will go down the slide, even the really tall ones by yourself. You will jump into the pool(into Chads arms).You will do just about anything, which sometimes terrifies me. You always has a bump or a bruise somewhere on your body from a) being a daredevil or b) being clumsy. I have no idea where you inherited that second one from, certainly not me.

You are still a great sleeper. Mama is grateful for this, because mama likes her sleep.You will go down between 7:30-8:30 and sleep until 7-8 the next morning. You are down to one nap a day but have started sleeping longer (sometimes even 1 1/2 hours!) in said nap. I have become used to not having a whole lot of time without you trailing me during the day.

To be honest I have lost track of how many teeth you have. Probably at least 12. And you are weighing in at around 21 lbs or so. Your eyes are becoming a beautiful brown. And your hair is getting so long now. I can almost put it in a ponytail in the back and the front bangs are always in your eyes if they aren't clipped back. You are still a skinny minny and are starting to lose a little of your baby chub. But you still have the cutest Buddha-belly as I like to call it.

You love to go on bike-rides with mom and dad and explore pretty much anywhere you go. You annoy Oliver any chance you get and I am afraid you are in a "not-so-best-friends" phase right now. He promptly trots out of the room whenever he sees you coming. Once and a while you manage to get in a friendly hug or kiss. You like to get into the Tupperware drawer and the hall closet. You like to make a mess of the plants on the balcony  and of our whole house really. You love the park and the grocery store. You are not the biggest fan of car rides lately and must be distracted with snacks, or else!

I am sure there are a million and one things I am missing about your life but for now that is enough. You change every day and I can barely keep up but you are so worth it. My life would be pretty bleak without you. Oliver's would too, even though he won't be caught dead admitting it. I thank Heavenly Father every day that I was so lucky to get to be your mom and raise you. I also thank him for making you just like me (and your dad). The first 19 months have been great and so will the next.

Love you, Mom